ICD25

Ice Cream Diaries 25 December 24, 2007

Hello from the land of misfit toys and Ice Cream Diaries. As I mentioned last time, I've 'evolved' the ICD to a blog format. I'm happy to say I've actually been pretty faithful to the new format, adding entries on a fairly regular basis. I realize this new approach may lack the high (or low) of getting a fresh and complete new Diaries episode in your Monday morning in-box, but it's been much easier to manage than trying to carve a chunk of time to put together a full issue. Now, when I think of something, I just open up my handy blogger window, and away I go. Also, as promised, I've been able to include many more photographs. I realize this may take away a tiny bit of the 'use your imagination' experience of reading an ICD, not quite like watching the movie versus reading the book, but a little bit like that. Apologies in advance to those who have been checking into the ICD blog on a regular basis or have set up an RSS feed (not exactly sure what that is), as my traffic copping of entries below will be reruns for you. If you haven't had a chance to check into the ICD blog, make yourself an eggnog latte, loosen up that clicking wrist, turn the mute button on that Tivo'ed 'Clash of the Choirs' episode and let's go, shall we. If I missed you before the holiday, I hope yours was great, and I'm sure work can wait a few more minutes... After all the jumps, I promise I'll give you a little update on what our root beer chuggin' chums have been up to lately.

With that as intro, if you'd like to rifle through all the ICD ramblings since my last installment, just click below to get 'em - one month at a time...

July

If you're more into reading by category, try these on for size...

I skipped a bunch of categories, since many have just one entry. Best bet is to read by month, if you've got the time. Since my ICD blog is linked from the 'official' Mt. Tom's website, it's got moments of sales-pitching you might not be used to, especially the entries around the holidays, but hopefully you'll still enjoy the distraction.

It's hard to believe another year is headed for the record books. It's been a tremendous one for sure, thanks to much-appreciated and positive word-of-mouth, nearly perfect ice cream weather from May straight through to November, and what I hope is a still-growing following of dedicated ice cream connoisseurs.

I've often considered sneaking a little Rudy and Reej onto the blog. It's really tempting, but I'm just not sure the random blog reader off the street would get it, having not 'grown up' with the boys over the past few years. It'd be like trying to watch a Lost episode three seasons in and not knowing why everyone on that island is so angry or who those darn 'others' are. Then again, I've been addicted to Lost on DVD since season one and still have no idea who the 'others' are. In any event, in case you miss those Root Beer rebels in Marilyn Manson tee's, here's a tasting spoonful for you...

If you live in Easthampton, you've probably noticed the Christmas tree is not actually floating on a platform in the middle of the pond this year. Instead, it's being displayed near the traffic light, behind the fiber optic reindeer on the corner of Cottage Street and Williston Avenue. I'd heard the Christmas tree barge was nixed when the Cottage Street business group disbanded earlier this year, along with it the holiday funds-raising wine tasting event. The local chamber of commerce was gracious enough to make sure there would at least still be a tree to light during the annual Santa stroll. Rumor had it that miscommunication was responsible for the tree being dry docked this Yule. It wouldn't be until the annual Santa Stroll arrived when we would all learn what really happened.

This is how I heard what was to go down that fateful stroll night...

Reej was sitting at the counter with a few of his buddies. I was chatting with one of the regulars about the upcoming stroll and other local goings-on. She gushed about how much she enjoyed all the cool little small town events. The rag shag parade at Halloween. The hokey ball drop from the roof of the Brass Cat on New Years Eve. The Christmas stroll. This brought around the topic of the beached Christmas tree. We shared our disappointment and mirrored the same rumors we'd heard about why it wasn't floating on the Nashawannuck this year. At this point in the conversation, I glance over at Reej and he's snickering to one of his buddies. After the woman leaves, I wander over to the boys and ask, 'What was that all about? Is there more to the story I don't know?' Reej just smirks and says, 'As a matter of fact there is. Can you keep a secret?'

It all started one day over the summer when he, his brother R.B. Rudy, and a few of their buddies were wandering around Nonotuck Park, bored, looking for something to break, break into, or break-off for their little hangout area in the woods behind the pond. They eventually found themselves at the end of a long gravel road. There they discovered what you usually see at the end of a dead-end road in the woods... random piles of fill and brush, a broken-down tractor, a steel drum. As they bashed sticks against the drum and climbed around on the tractor ala Planet of The Apes meets Beverly Hillbillies, one of them noticed a wooden platform leaning against a tree. The little drummer boys made their way over to their intriguing new find. Within minutes, they had the platform on the ground and were jumping up and down on it, arms and fists raised in victory, like they'd won a long and bloody battle for such spoils. As they collectively celebrated their new stage, each contemplated the world of opportunities it presented.

One yelled, 'Let's take it apart and, like, make a fort out of it!' Another suggested, 'Let's light it on fire and launch it in the pond like we did with that row boat we filled with Cool Ranch Doritos that time!' Upon which, Rudy stops jumping and begins to smirk. A sinister smirk, like that one the Grinch got when he first hatched the idea to steal Christmas from Whoville. 'Gather round ladies,' he whispers. 'This is what we're going to do...'

Under Rudy's devious plan, they would drag the dock to their secret hang out place deep in the woods and on the far side of the pond. There it would sit until sunset of the day of the annual Santa Stroll slash town Christmas tree lighting ceremony. Keeping this under their collective ballcaps would be a real challenge for Rudy's gang, especially Reej, for we all know how he likes to tell stories, but miraculously the whereabouts of one Christmas tree dock remained the best kept secret at Easthampton High.

In the days leading up to the Stroll, Rudy kept a curious eye on the pond. He and the boys thought for sure the town would build another dock to replace the one they held hostage. These fears were allayed when shortly after Thanksgiving they noticed a couple guys propping up a big Christmas tree on edge of the pond. It was starting to get cold at night, but still no ice to complicate their plan. Everything was lining up perfectly.

Fast forward to the night of the Christmas stroll.

They had to move fast, because the parade always starts shortly after dark. Under a moonless night, they would row their commandeered dock into the spot on the pond usually reserved for the town Christmas tree. Thanks to the commotion caused by the start of the holiday stroll, they were able move the dock into place with nary a glance from anyone on the shore. A makeshift cinderblock anchor attached to a rope from Rudy's Dad's garage was quietly lowered to the mucky bottom of the pond. As the final setup step, Reej launched himself in the small inflatable raft they'd brought for the task of ferrying to shore the high voltage waterproof power chord. Once there, he quickly and efficiently completed two small tasks - plugging the chord into the well hidden power box by the spillway then flipping off the breaker for the 'other' tree. With that, Reej's part in this play was completed to perfection.

The one modification the Rudy gang had made to the dock was to install seven foot poles at the front corners. A makeshift black curtain was suspended between the poles. This would shield them from the gathering crowd at the end of Cottage Street...until the right moment.

The Stroll went off unremarkably, with the throngs of shuffling, caroling townsfolk making their way down Cottage Street until they got to the first traffic light, where they stopped and anxiously waited for this year's Junior Miss pageant winner to flip to the switch that lights the town's Christmas tree. Meanwhile, behind the black curtain, the boys giggled under their breath as they finished their setup and listened for the crowd's countdown to the tree lighting. Ten, nine, eight, seven...one, Light!

At which point, all eyes are on the tree. Nothing happens. The crowd is silent, not sure what went wrong or who would be the first to boo. Just as the buzz of the crowd starts to grow, there comes a sound from the darkness of the pond. At first it sounds like a wounded animal but it quickly becomes the unmistakable whine of an electric guitar. Louder and louder it gets, gaining strength as the sounds skate across the surface of the pond. In an explosion of sound and fury, Rudy launches into a full-on guitar solo, part Running with the Devil, part Manheim Steamroller. The curtain drops on the floating stage to reveal five young men, in full Santa regalia, amps, drums, and one giant Christmas tree as a backdrop. The name 'Cottage Street Stations' has been replaced with 'Santa Rocks Scram Lumpy!'

The crowd is transfixed as Rudy and the boys knock off heavy metal versions of White Christmas, Christmas Outside Your Door by Dead Artist Syndrome, The Abominable Snowman Dropkicks Rudolph, and We Three Kings of Nonotuck Park. I've got brick walls in my shop, and I could hear it clear as if they were set up in my kitchen. I'm sure the police considered stopping it, but it just seemed like everyone was so stunned to do anything but watch.

At the end of their last song, 'Sympathy for Santa', Rudy and Full Pint bring it home with a huge guitar jam I'm sure could be heard on the roof of the parking garage in Northampton. The boys bow in unison as a blast of fireworks lights the sky and the giant Christmas tree behind them explodes in a cacophony of color and smoke.

For a lingering instant, the silence is deafening. Slowly, the crowd comes to life and begins to cheer. The cheering quickly escalates to a thundering ovation loud enough to catch the Grinch's attention atop Mt.Tom. They loved it! Rudy, FP, and the other boys end their bows and wave to the adoring crowd lining the shore. Five puffed up chests under Santa costume pillows and giant grins behind fake white beards, Rudy, Reej and the rest of Scram Lumpy made it a Santa stroll to remember. It was indeed their finest hour.

May the holidays bring with them your own finest hour.

Happy Holidays to you and yours.

Jim